24 Jan 2023

Deciding to move an older loved one into residential aged care can be an incredibly difficult decision.

You may experience a range of emotions, including guilt, sadness, anxiety or even relief.

You might also be concerned this decision will cause tension between you and your loved one.

It is important to remember that moving a loved one into aged care can improve their overall health and quality of life – and potentially your own.

So, how do you know when it is the right time?

Here are five signs to look out for when considering aged care for your loved one: ​

  1. 1. They’ve had a fall

There is a real fear of falling amongst the elderly community, and for good reason – falls are the leading cause of unintentional injury in older Australians. In fact, nearly 1 in 3 older Australians have experienced a fall in the last 12 months.

As well as physical injuries, experiencing a fall may result in a loss of confidence, increased frailty and a loss of independence.

The older we get, the more difficult it becomes to live independently. If your loved one has recently suffered a fall and is experiencing one or more of these consequences, it might be time to consider the benefits of aged care. ​

  1. 2. Increased forgetfulness

We all forget things sometimes. Normal age-related memory loss might include misplacing your glasses or forgetting a person’s name but recalling it later that day. These changes in memory often won’t cause a significant disruption to your day.

Other signs of memory loss in older people may be more serious and could point to Alzheimer’s or other related disorders. Some common signs to look out for are:​

  • Asking the same question repeatedly
  • Wandering or getting lost
  • Forgetting common words in conversation
  • Wanting to ‘go home’ when already at home
  • Missing appointments
  • Skipping medication

If your loved one lives alone and you are growing concerned at their increased forgetfulness, aged care might be a viable option.

  1. 3. Changes in mobility

As we get older, our muscles, bones and joints undergo changes that can lead to weakness and slowed movement. Whilst this is a normal part of ageing, it does impact our independence.

If your loved one has difficulty getting out of bed, performing their usual daily tasks or requires the assistance of a cane or a walker, they may benefit from the safety and comfort an aged care residence provides.

  1. 4. Their home is unkempt

Think about the last time you visited your loved one. Did their home seem cluttered or more unkempt than usual? Were dishes piled up in the sink, or was there food going off in the fridge? Perhaps what was once a well-cared for garden is now overgrown with weeds, or letters have piled up in the mailbox.

Whilst these may not seem like obvious signs of trouble, it can point to your loved one struggling to live independently.

One reason for this might be due to a decline in their physical health – they may be unable to push a vacuum cleaner around or reach cupboards to put things away. Another reason could be a decline in their mental health – they may no longer have the motivation to take care of their things.

  1. 5. You constantly feel drained

Caring for an older loved one is by no means a walk in the park. It is important to recognise and acknowledge how their situation affects you, particularly if you are their primary caregiver.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself:

  • Is my mental health suffering due to caring for my loved one?
  • Do I feel emotionally drained or exhausted?
  • Am I neglecting my own responsibilities to care for my loved one?
  • Can I meet all my loved ones needs?

We all want the best for our loved ones, but we also must look after ourselves. If you are struggling to cope with the level of care they need, it might be time to seek professional help.

Ultimately, there is no ‘right time’ to move a loved one into aged care.

However, if you have noticed a few of these signs, it might be time to consider your options. You can view what types of care VMCH has to offer here.

VMCH offers a wide range of services that are tailored to your loved ones needs. If you would like more information, or just need someone to talk to, please call our friendly team on 1300 698 624.

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